Do I still want to be a software engineer?

I’ve been a software engineer for over a decade.

I’ve built products used by millions. I’ve led teams, mentored junior engineers, scaled startups, grown insane databases. It used to be exciting. Now, I’m not so sure.

The thrill is gone #

I remember the first thing I built—a scrappy PHP site to bypass my school’s firewall. It worked. It was thrilling.

Then I built something people used. Then something that made money. Each step felt like progress.

Even once scraping car sites to build a database of every car in Australia. Then using those listings to build a pricing model for used cars. Such an exciting grind.

Now? The excitement is gone. Shipping code feels routine. Even impact doesn’t hit the same.

The grind #

I thought purpose would keep me going, but the grind is wearing me down. Meetings, politics, bureaucracy. The pressure to do more, faster, with less.

Software used to be simpler. Now, launching anything means battling complexity at every turn.

I still love coding #

I have side projects at home. I still love coding. But it’s not the same. It’s not the same as when it’s combined with the grind of work.

The future #

Do I go into management? Full time investment? Start something new? Walk away entirely?

I don’t know.